Intention

Tuesday, 17 March 2020 

It was the last time since I drove my car. A day before was my last day in Hosp HAT Mizan. During that time I was doing Anaes Posting. Never thought this will last till today. When I count the day, today is Day-59 I stay at home due to COVID-19. The first month was fun for me. I do relieve my stress from study, relaxing my competitive nature, can watch anime, movie ,k drama. I overslept. My parents at home. Everybody there in my home. But after that, my routine became dull. I not doing any meaningful thing. All I think back then was fun and don`t want to think at all. But then I realized, that I am still a medical student that wait to be graduate and at the end to become doctor in community. I know I m still lacking in many way. Knowledge . Skills. Basics . I don`t want my teenage become a waste. Most important thing is that my niat. For these while, I am not set my niat correct. I only study because I`m afraid people will look down upon me and my biggest concern is , will my parents get disappointed if I fail? They are my precious treasure in this world. Make them happy, smile , proud will never enough after what they have done to raise me till Im 23 years old now. 

Back to my niat, after listening to preach, read AlQuran tafsir , all become clearer to me. I need to correct my niat  back. Now my niat in study any knowledge regardless medical related or not is to make Allah see me, to make Allah happy as His servant. I dont care if I let people down. They do not know my struggle to reach this point. I will always pray and make my parents as asbab for me to become a good servant. Allah give me this life and to Him I shall return to.